What If Your Heart Has a Different Definition of Success?

There was a powerful moment recently in a conversation with a coaching client.

She had been carrying a deep belief that she was somehow failing at life.

As we slowed down together and gently explored where this belief came from, something important emerged: the definition of “success” she had been measuring herself against was never truly her own.

It was inherited.

It was shaped by cultural pressure, achievement culture, productivity culture, and the unspoken message many of us absorb from a very young age that our worth is tied to how much we accomplish, how much money we make, or how impressive our lives appear from the outside.

So often when people say someone is “successful,” what they really mean is:
“They’ve made a lot of money.”

But is that actually success?

Over the years, I have spoken with many people who are financially wealthy yet deeply unhappy. People who live with chronic stress. People disconnected from themselves. People who feel trapped in lives that look impressive from the outside but feel empty internally. People terrified of losing what they have built.

To me, that is not true success.

What unfolded in this coaching session felt deeply meaningful.

My client realized she did not have to continue steering her life using someone else’s definition of fulfillment.

Instead, together with her own heart — and the little one inside of her — she began creating a new definition of success.

One rooted not in performance.
Not in comparison.
Not in societal approval.

But in alignment.

In peace.
In meaningful connection.
In authenticity.
In joy.
In the ability to wake up and genuinely feel connected to one’s own life.

The conversation impacted me deeply as well.

I noticed afterward that I no longer wanted to say,
“They’ve been very successful,”
when referring to someone who has accumulated wealth.

Now I find myself saying,
“They’ve made a lot of money in their life.”

Because those are not necessarily the same thing.

Of course, money matters.

We need enough to meet our basic needs — food, shelter, healthcare, safety, stability. Financial stress can absolutely impact wellbeing.

But fascinatingly, research has shown that once our basic needs and financial security are met, increases in income do not create corresponding increases in life fulfillment or happiness. Multiple studies over the years have pointed toward this understanding: beyond a certain threshold, fulfillment comes far more from the quality of our relationships, our sense of meaning, our inner wellbeing, our connection to community, and the degree to which we feel aligned with ourselves and our values.

And yet our culture rarely slows down long enough to ask:
What actually matters to me?

What does my heart define as a meaningful life?

What kind of life would feel nourishing to my nervous system, my spirit, and my body?

These are some of the kinds of conversations we explore inside the upcoming six-week Rooted Wisdom Summer Nature Journey.

Together, we slow down.

We step outside of the constant noise and pressure of modern life and reconnect with something more ancient and grounded.

We spend time in nature learning to identify native plants and exploring their edible, medicinal, and ecological uses. We learn to identify birds by their songs. We gather with other thoughtful women for meaningful conversations about what truly matters and how we want to live.

Again and again, I witness what happens when women create enough spaciousness to actually hear themselves.

Clarity begins to emerge.

Not the clarity of the mind trying to achieve more.

But the deeper clarity of the heart remembering what matters.

If this speaks to something inside of you, I invite you to reach out. I’m happy to connect for a conversation and answer any questions about the upcoming summer journey. Click the button below to schedule a chat.